Have you ever said something to someone you love which, later you came to know, caused injury and grievous pain? I’m guilty. At the time I didn’t have a clue. And when it resurfaced I thought it was rather trivial and expressed it as such, which caused more pain. Guilty again!
Oftentimes we don’t realize the profundity of the things we say in our interactions with other people. I have said things to my wife in the past that have caused her great harm. In our 12 years of marriage, we have walked through the coals, as it were, with regard to how hurtful we can be to each other. I take 100 percent of the blame for this. I’m thankful that I have a forgiving wife.
I composed a sonnet which is influenced by several people and biblical perspectives: my wife, five wise men (accountability partners with whom I have close relationships), one of whom, Jim Rose, preached a sermon that influenced this sonnet (titled Blind Spots), and 1 Corinthians 13, also known as “The Love chapter.” By the way, Jim’s sermon will provide you with godly tools that provide compunction and healing in these situations.
I hope you appreciate Beatitude of Love.
There are a myriad of ways a man will pop the big question to his fiancé. Asking your special lady for her hand in marriage should not be so complicated, so why do men go to great lengths for the most exclusive, exciting, romantic, or bizarre proposal? I “get it.” It is a special event, and let’s face it, this is something you want to do once in a lifetime. You want it to be memorable and romantic and beautiful, and maybe even spectacular!
That’s how I envisioned it. So I wrote a proposal sonnet and presented it, along with the ring, in what I thought was the perfect place and time. But my timing was a bit off. I realize now what I didn’t know then: We hadn’t known each other long enough or well enough. After meeting her objections (I was sweating it), she accepted my proposal. Approximately 7 months later, we married. That was 11 years ago.
If I had to do it again, I would be more patient. Timing is everything, and that’s the only advice I can offer. Patience.
For you guys who want it to be special, you may want to check out the “58 Most Romantic Ways to Propose” on the Knot website. I recommend making your marriage proposal romantic, memorable, and prudent–something you and your bride-to-be will cherish for a lifetime.
My proposal sonnet is titled “Gourmet Fare.” It is the forerunner to the best day of my life, when I married my lovely bride, Dawn Hamilton Lindsey–a day which is much more memorable than proposal day. Continue reading to see it. Thanks for visiting today!
The dirty diapers, kids, and household chores,
They never cease, laundry piles up high,
It’s work from dusk ‘til dawn; what’s more,
A modern wife like me will never cry.
Lord knows we couldn’t have a happy home
Without my spouse’s friends: the drugs and booze
He loves, the deities upon his throne,
Including me, with whom he loves to schmooze.
But years ago, before I left this home
My life was tough: I cried and cried.
But heart once flesh is now a heart of stone,
For hubby bartered for a nouveau bride.
He pours contempt upon the Lord of Life,
And takes his pleasure from his cyber wife.
(For Dawn on our seventh wedding anniversary)
My lovely wife, my spine and central core:
Two minds conformed sit reciting, day
By day—a ceaseless piece preparing for
The time when bodies fail and cannot play.
A song so sweet, we lovers cannot stop,
Nor bear, we fear, one player leaves the set.
Our days are gifts which we determine not,
And each is given death’s certificate.
We etch our magnum opus from the heart:
This masterpiece for God which we perform.
His Love Divine arranges every part,
And His sonata plays throughout life’s storm.
Once gone from earth, our melody we pray:
May angels weep, may God appreciate.
DB Lindsey Jr.
© 26 November 2011
Revised 8 February 2015
All Rights Reserved